stiffffffffff

Pain Pain Pain .... and such stiffness in my joints and bones , I hate this illness , it controls my every being and is 24/7 full on . Even when i am ok so to speak , my skin burns, my muscles spasm which has now moved to my jaw and, i wonder just how bad is it going to get. I dread the day Colin gets ill for i've been told i would be put into respite. Not that there is anything wrong with that for i worked in the care profession and i met and assisted many in respite care. I just don't imagine the day it could be me. I wonder if i ended up in Oakbank how my fellow colleagues would feel and how i would feel..Hmmmm a bit scary actually. pride and stuff is a bad thing isn't it . I just can't imagine my naked body being washed by people i used to work with, and my flower !!!!!! hahahaaaaaa Silly i know for we all need help of one sort or another at times but its different when its by fellow workers. 


Colin is going out Christmas shopping this afternoon so i will be alone with my cats and my walking frame until he comes back . Its mad that i would need to pay for a carer to sot with me to give Colin free time away from me, and its crazy that there are no befriending services for people under 60 . Colin has looked into it all with no success. He is registered with Carers UK and is at the moment looking for to start a project to build a centre and a hydrotherapy pool, he's got the backing of many people and is shortly going to make a FB page solely for that purpose and to attract donations. We got news the other day that there may be a pool available so it would just be a matter of getting it up and running, employ a physiotherapist and a life guard, a very exciting project and i can't wait to hear how he gets on with his meeting with those connected to this pool, sorry i can't remember their names but watch this space for more info.

I imagine that there are so many people who would benefit from hydrotherapy pool, me included. Talking of which I'm waiting to hear from physiotherapy to try and help excersize my body so to keep it supple and my circulation going well. I think it will be quite a task for i experience added increase pain when i try to do anything , typing included. I tried to use a voice recogniser but it comes away with so many funny thing not in the least connected to what i am saying, i guess it doesn't understand Scottish hahahaaaaaaa 

For anyone experiencing Fibro symptoms,  and then decide to go onto the internet to self diagnose, it is important to know that you must be diagnosed by a rheumatologist *

I go to the hospital again on the 11th Dec, to have a breast lump removed , its only day surgery but i am quite nervous about it, but its better out than in as its getting quite big now.


Well i have no more chit-chat today , hope my little bit of news is interesting reading and that my blog helps all of you out there who may feel isolated and lonely, i've been there and i know how it feels .

one of my few hobbies now is making music videos, i used to do loads and put them on YouTube but now i just do a few , anyway here is a fun one for all my friends and all my Google+ friends... enjoy , Ggggrrrrrrr I can't get the video to play , I'll try to re post this with the edited video ... 

Hugs Kira xx