McMillan Cancer Care

I am so proud of my daughter Angela, she is holding a coffee morning in aid of McMillan nurses , such a good cause .

I feel sad that I can't go because I feel so ill today , I think I have caught another virus as I've been feeling poorly since yesterday :-(

Colin has gone to support the cause tho so that's nice, I bet he has a yummy time lolgiggle ....


To anyone who has entered this worthy cause , you are so kind and amazing people

Hugs Kira x  

 you're a star xx

Having a bad day

I'm tired today , it feels like whenever I do any kind of activity i feel so tired and lethargic the next day , I guess it all comes down to willpower and common sense, so what do i do

a) do i rest
b) do i try to work through it


I imagine there are many sufferers who have this issue too , its soul destroying and very hard to work through my depression when it hits


I won't let it beat me though, no matter how long it takes i aim to be well again

Hugs Kira x

Stronger Update

I have felt so very tired today, sleeping most of the day and only managing to be up for a couple of hours at a time, also my body hurts, esp my shoulders and upper arms ( nothing new really)

However , i do feel so good inside that i have managed to find from somewhere inside a more positive outlook and a more stronger attitude , hoping with all my heart that this is the start of a new journey for me, no looking back , only going forward. Colin has suggested to me that we only do yoga nidra tonite which i agree to , the way i see it, something is better than nothing, and its so good for my spirit :-)


Tomorrow is a new day

Goodnight All
Hugs Kira xx

Stronger

Today I feel stronger emotionally, I have thought deeply about my situation, and I can only deal with what this illness has given me. Acceptance is difficult because the fighter in me want the Kira I was , and i want the independence I enjoyed before I got ill ; An possible dream for I will never be that person again , I can only be the person I am now and work towards making it better for me.

I imagine there will be plenty more future downs and I imagine anyone out there who has a disability as I do will also experience the string of emotions that follow illness and disability .

Together we can do our best
Together we can be the best we can be
Together we will always have each other

Thank-you my friends ; I love you and I am so grateful for all you do for me

Hugs Kira x

the pain clinic

I was seen at the pain clinic this morning, all they could offer me for pain relief from now on is morphine and she talked to me about the outreach clinic , but I'm afraid i don't want to be picked up once a week or whatever and taken to a lunch club to sit with 60 and 70 + years olds . I have nothing against the elderly , jeez i worked with them for years but i don't want to become old before my time!!!  She discussed with me that the pain relief and management can only be helped with me becoming more active and also pain relief , however there are severe side effects from taking morphine long term so i refused this also.

It seems there is no way forward for me except acceptance and just get on with it . I feel so low today and such a burden on everyone

I'm sad :-(   

Kira x

Today

Yesterday was such a bad day for me , but in the evening I got a message that touched my heart and lifted my mood in many ways . I didn't sleep good , nothing new really as my pain keeps me awake constantly . Glad to say that I feel better today and I think at last I'm kicking this virus out of touch :-) wish i could do the same with this Fibromyalgia .

I'm thinking about dressing up my wheelchair lolgiggle, well getting Colin to for i cant :-)


So anyway its Friday and time for all you workers out there to enjoy the week-end and party !!!! Colin has suggested he give me a pamper day , do my nails, do my make-up and do my fake tan ; sounds good in theory but in practice we will have to see how i am tomorrow. Anyway its given me something to look forward to . Hard to accept that i can no longer do these things , I am lucky to have Colin for he is good at making me feel and look good :-)

Happy week-end

Hugs Kira x

Low

My mood is very low today , i just can't seem to get out of this hole I'm in and I'm so unmotivated with life and the way my life is .

Feeling constantly worn out and as if i have the world on my shoulders , i just want to sleep constantly and I'm really depressed today .

Sorry for this, I should probably not write when i feel like this but i have no other outlet otherwise, I mean how can I burden Colin any more , he has to live with me and see my moods and my pain daily.

I hope that anyone who is feeling sad as I am, I hope that you feel better soon, please know that you are not alone

Hugs Kira x

my friend the virus

For the past two days i have been feeling poorly, think i have caught a virus and its leaving me feeling washed out , I hope to feel better soon for there is nothing i can do but let it run its course

Dr Andrew wants me to keep a diary over the next 2 weeks , i can see that being interesting NOT  ... filled with my moans and groans and how awful i feel doesn't make for good reading ...

I hope all of my followers have a nice Sunday, and if the ones who feel ill as i do then i send you a gentle hug and healing thoughts

hugz Kira x

Boxing On

I had such a bad day yesterday, such chronic pain and i felt so depressed and tired, just wanted the pain to end and wanted to sleep. Was meant to see Andrew yesterday, he's the doctor I'm seeing privately . Anyway i had to cancel but i saw him today.  While we were talking Colin told him how he thought the treatment was good for me , and how when we were out last week i wanted to try to walk in Salon services shop , i've not walked outside for two years and i managed it , i was so pleased with myself even tho i was in pain afterwards and felt washed out.

Again he did hypnotherapy on me , afterwards we were talking and Andrew said that he felt we were getting somewhere , i don't see it, but i trust his positive attitude and i will try to embrace it for myself. I go back to see him in 2 weeks so till then I'm boxing on and with Colin's help trying my best .


hugs Kira x