We can never plan

I'm feeling very tired today and know i will have to return to bed shortly, its so frustrating because we can never plan anything and it seems the only time i manage to get out is to see the doctor, even then its often a struggle for me .

I empathize with all fellow sufferers , its feels like we are prisoners in our own home and we are cut off from society .

My mood is low today , sorry

hugz Kiara x  

there is such a difference between relaxing and being physically tired, I so wish i could sleep and feel refreshed .

Mind over Body

I've been doing relaxation techniques with Colin this week as advised by the doctor , I'm slowly managing to 'get into the zone'  and feel hopeful that this can help me in some way . I've also attempted to do some chores around the flat every other day for i actually feel wiped out afterwards and i'm so tired for days following . However i plan to continue and try to pace myself better , I want to at least do something to help myself become more ambulant .

It was my weigh in day today with weight watchers , i haven't lost any weight this week but also i haven't gained any so i should see that as a positive and just try that little bit harder for my next weigh-in ......

Wish me luck !!!!

hugz Kira x  

chores

I've started doing some chores around the flat , its tires me out terribly but it makes me feel good that i can do something and my thinking is that hopefully i will get stronger and not find things so hard going . I do have to rest for 2 or 3 days afterwards but then i can do a little again  , hopefully pacing myself will work out ,

watch this space .....

hugs Kira x

A new week

So changing things a little i want to talk about weight watchers and my slow progress, but progress it is :-)

I just can't forego chocolate and its driving me nuts but this week I'm determined to reach my first milestone of  7 lbs loss . I wish i could work out but for obvious reasons i can't , but i am going to try my best to be more mobile and do more tasks , i think this is achievable if i pace myself  - so this is my plan ....

I spend so much time at home just sitting about , so i need to change this and make it work for me , watch this space ......

Have a good Monday 

hugs Kira x

Sleep

Isn't it so frustrating when this ongoing tiredness just seems to go on and on......

I hate that i get so tired it feels that my life consists of sleeping , waking and still feeling tired. I just want to sleep all the time , my life stinks!!!!!

I have my second appointments with the Dr in Glasgow ( i can't remember his name ) anyway, i'm a little apprehensive and wondering what he has in store for me 

watch this space ......  Kira x

UPDATE 21/8/13

 , 

I was seen by Andrew ( my Dr in Glasgow)  this afternoon he is trying a series of hypnotherapy on me , where it will go i don't know but I'm willing to try anything . Colin is also involved in my care which is good, it makes me feel comfortable and supported. Surprisingly most doctors don't involve the partner in any care / medical package , Andrew is definitely different and i feel optimistic that he will do his best to help me .

Life is sooooo hard

Life is so hard for me at the moment, my body hurts beyond measure and i feel exhausted all the time . When will it ease i wonder for i don't know how much longer i can take this.

A friend referred us to a private doctor and we went to see him last week, we were there for 2 hours which totally drained me emotionally and physically , but he has given me a glimmer of hope that he can help me . His aim to help me become more mobile and to manage my pain better so i can have a better quality of life. It won't happen overnight and it'll be hard work for me but as long as i have Colins support to help me thro then i know i can do it , at least i hope i can .

Life has to get better for me, if only a little, for i've suffered constant severe pain and exhaustion for 2 years now and i just can't see me suffering this for the rest of my life . I know there is no cure and i will always be in pain but i hope upon hope that it will get easier eventually.

Thank-you Robert for referring us to this new doctor and for all your help,  you have  given  me hope

Namaste

Kira x

sunshine

Its so nice to see the sunshine today, from my flat i can see the trees in the park gently blowing in the breeze and the sun shining down on them . Isn't mother nature a beautiful thing.

Colin emailed Dr McCall this morning , we were given his name by a friend so we want to arrange a consultation . I'm living in hope that he can help me in some way for all the other doctors i have seen have done all they can for me and now its just living an existence and sleeping most days .

I have to mention Robert , his kindness is beyond measure, i just don't have the words to say how grateful we both are for his help .

I'm tired today , my body hurts too - medication just doesn't help and i have to just put up with this as best i can . Wish i could run away and leave all my pain behind me .......

Have a beautiful day everyone

hugs Kira x

EyEs

Today has been a good day considering how things are with me :-) I even managed to put my make-up on and feel like my old self for a little while. Colin took me into town, i had an appointment with the optician to have my eyes tested , its been over 10yrs since i last had them done ( shame on me !!!) However i was surprised to hear that there has been little change in my eyes, most changes on my right one. I had noticed this myself so it'll be good to get my new glasses and be able to actually see properly . I've chosen two different frames , both veri focal , one pair in a bronze frame and the other in a wine/reddish colour , now we just need to find the money to pay for them GulP ....



I spoke on Skype to my friend in USA today , its amazing how Skype can just connect people half way across the world . Candy is just the nicest person , and its great to have her as a friend even tho we live hundreds of miles apart - its good to have friends isn't it :-)


So now its a relaxing evening for Colin and i, Dinner soon and watch TV , we are following the serial ' The Americans' all about soviet and USA spies, not normally the kind of thing i would watch but its really good and keeps you hanging on til the next episode ...

Enjoy your evening whatever you do

hugs Kira x  

Bones

I have been suffering such intense pain in my bones lately , its so bad that it has reduced me to tears and just feeling that i can't go on like this. Pain from my shoulders travelling down to my elbows and severe pain in my hips, and thighs travelling down to my shins , SO SO SO Intense ;-(

Went to my doctor who has put me on an anti-inflammatory Naproxen Tablets 500mg x2 daily , which seems to be helping ( my second day of taking them and the pain is reduced to bearable, but now getting bad stomach pains)

Is there no rest from this !!!!!

hugs to all who read this blog , Kira x