It seems to me that we take so much for granted until it's gone . Having cfs/me and Fibromyalgia dictates so much of my life from my everyday living skills to " if I can even stay awake for more than an hour" without feeling utterly exhausted. My personal relationship has also suffered in so many ways, for now it's completely different I am not the person I was, she is lost in a fog of illness and all things disabling , however one positive thro all of this hell is our love, that deep understanding of each other, almost knowing what the other person is thinking , The love of a deep partnership , the love I feel for my husband, that will never change . So now I wonder what my tomorrow will bring to me, and I hope to please be well , yes you don't appreciate things in life until they are gone, only then do you truly appreciate the good things that life has to offer and how unique is this gift we are given- the gift of life.
I am a young woman in an old woman's body, My Fibromyalgia mainly affects my legs, excruciating pain and stiffness from my hips makes it almost impossible to walk, then there is the unsteadiness and fear of possibly falling . I've fallen a few times and the fear of helplessness this brings is un-describable. I miss my heels , and i have no energy nor the will to put my make-up on , try telling someone ill in bed with a bad flu 'put your make-up on for it will make you feel better' well that's what it is like for me! except with flu you don't suffer such intense pain and ofcourse you can be well again.
My confusion and forgetfulness upsets me, simple words don't come easy to me and i often say the wrong word for what i am actually trying to say. Then there is the isolation .......
People just don't understand, even if they try to no-one can ever know my emotional or physical pain, no-one except fellow sufferers :(
'Have a nice day ' well i will try to
'hope you feel better soon' this is all i want from life...However until then i am an old lady living in a young woman's body and i miss my life so much !! :(
hugs Kiara
