2014

To all my friends i wish you a happy and healthy new year , let 2014 be a good one in many ways 

Hugs 

Kiara x

When....

Sleepless nights  filled with pain and tired day that seems never ending


My pain has now spread to my jaws,'I'm experiencing stiffness and terrible pain that even affects me trying to talk . How bad is this going to get, when will it end.

I live in hope that one day i will wake up and be better but i know there is no cure and 'I'm just living in a fools paradise. I joke to Colin that this could be every husbands dream for his wife to find herself unable to speak lolgiggle but the reality of this takes away the funniness of this.

I can only sympathise with anyone else who is suffering the same symptoms, I didn't know it could get this bad and spread over such a wide area. I didn't even know about fibromyalgia until i was diagnosed. I have looked into this and it is more common than people realise, although symptoms are normally just in one area- just my luck isn't it.

I try to not feel sorry for myself but there are times when i just wish i could go to sleep and not wake up and i just can't imagine the rest of my life being like this. So many out there suffering illness and chronic pain, so much to tolerate .

Life can be so cruel.

Kiara x

its not about ......

Its not about how many people read my blog; its not even about how many people comment ;

I write my blog to help myself work through my own emotions and feelings. I also write to help other people recognise symptoms and accept their emotions and feelings , I think that knowing there are others who also suffer,  so its easier to accept that we are not alone even if we feel that we are.  So many times i feel like i am a non-person and invisible as i sit in my wheelchair, me who was an active independent woman, me who dealt with the public and worked in the caring services, its such a turn around and even now after nearly three years still feels at times so hard to accept.
 Disability has such a negative effect people because its soul destroying and also we feel so alone with our illness. We feel that nobody understands and our family feel helpless to understand what is going on with our body and come to terms with the fact that their loved ones are suffering , they/we have no focus on what the future holds and this chronic pain is at its worse intolerable .

So i write as a comfort to myself and others out there who suffer like i do.

At the moment I'm not good, i am very lethargic and i am not getting quality sleep because of the pain . Its a cycle of symptoms we never get used to . Noise and bright lights also effect me , so many different things can influence my day and still i can do nothing to help myself , i just have to accept that this is the way it is.

I have recently heard that some-one i know has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia in her arm , Val my thoughts are with you and I'm sending you healing thoughts.
We all need a hug sometimes, even when we try to be brave ......

hugs Kira x

Heat

I've recently started using sunbeds, Colin has to help me on and practically lift me off again but, the benefits i feel are just so good. The heat goes into my bones and helps relax my muscles this  feels soooooooooooooooo good :-) I only go on for 4-6 minutes twice a week i am starting to get some colour which is also boosting my moral .

Please don't go rushing out to use sunbeds as you must be aware at the risks of skin cancer however its working for me and both myself and Colin check my skin regularly for any signs of changes.

I've been feeling so ill and very lethargic and tired lately , feeling severe pains shooting through my legs and arms . And so the cycle goes on once more :-(

Colin is holding a voluntary candle medication at Merchant City Yoga in Glasgow on 19th Dec so anyone interested please come along. I will need to be lifted up in my wheelchair as there are two small flights of stairs to climb but its worth it to be able to attend. Anyone who wants to come along must be aware of the steps if you are disabled and find climbing stairs difficult. If you want to attend though you booking is through The Merchant City Yoga website .

No more news at the moment , i don't want to go on about my pain as this is an ongoing symptom of fibromyalgia and all sufferers will experience different levels of pain , but understand this issue with fellow sufferers.

Hope you all out there are well or as well as can be expected

Namaste

Kiara x