I woke up this morning feeling good but, within 5 minutes of getting up the tiredness hit me like a brick wall . Also my spasms are VERY active all over :-(  Sometimes i just wish with all my heart that this illness would go away. This is one of those times. I could cry

I'm sure all of you out there who suffer the same as i do , have felt like this many times :-(

We are going to the Lakes on Tuesday and i'm really looking forward to it, but I'm also worried incase my illness dictates and i end up sleeping too much to actually enjoy my little break .

Life can be so hard sometimes and i feel so tired today that i have no fight in me .

I wish everyone a lovely Sunday, whatever your plans for today

Hugs Kiara x

How Exciting

I have written poetry since i was 14 years old , this was my way of dealing with issues and emotions in my life . Oh how my poetry style etc has changed over the years as i now write free-write and i'm in the process of getting my first book published to be on sale through Amazon . Its all so exciting and has cheered up my normally dull life.

I have also lost just over 1lb in my weigh-in today , a grand total of 5lbs in 2 weeks!! How we cherish every oz we lose when we are dieting don't we.

I've also had my hair gone blonde again, i got it done yesterday so i'm really pleased with it .

To all you out there i hope that you have even just one thing in your life that brightens your day and makes you happy

Hugs Kiara x

For Dermot

Hello Dermot,

I know your friend Ken through our love of poetry , he told me a while back that he'd passed my blog on to you . So i thought that its about time i do the right thing and say 'hello' welcome you to my blog page.

I can never know how other people feel or cope with their disabilities etc but i do try to understand and if i can 'lend a listening ear if needed' In the event of you reading my blog please understand that my blog is exactly that 'my blog' i try to be as honest about my feelings as i can, i try to not 'dress up' my emotions for i want to connect with people who suffer similar as me,


 i want also to do this for myself, its a way of coming to terms with my illness as well as this new tag i have 'disabled person' wow was that ever a bitter pill for me to swallow, every where i looked even in my nice new home, for i had to move as i couldn't handle the stairs in my house anymore, every  part of normal living was taken from me all i saw was disabled... i fought with my feelings and emotions, i fought with my illness getting so upset and went thro the why me era, after all , i was a caring person, so why did this have to happen to me, i caught an infection 2 months after getting married and infection that floored me and left me with Fibromyalgia that spread through my body so quickly it was unbelievable how severe the symptoms robbed me of my life . I am honest to say that if i knew this was going to happen i would never have married Colin. I went through a terrible guilt in the early days , for Colin had to give up his life to look after me , this sacrifice i will never forget and i will always be grateful for , but i still feel bad about.

I have days when I'm fine and i have days when i am in such pain and i can't even get out of bed that i wish i could just close my eyes and never wake up .

Anyway Dermot , all i want to say is that if ever you want to talk then feel free to contact me . Plus i do hope that you will read my blog now and then . Take Care,


hugs Kira x

Armchair yoga

I can't believe that i managed to do 20 minutes of armchair yoga , I'm very tired today tho and my body aches but i think its normal that i should hurt a little. My body is very weak and its difficult for me to do movements but at least i'm trying , so my message to all of you out there is' If i can do it then so can you' Give it a try ....

hugs Kira x

Confused

This crazy mind of mine simply leaves me every day with a brain-fog, that can be funny because of the mixed up words I'm saying eg the wrong words for things  , or my confused mind that can be quite frustrating and hurtful to my sensitive soul .

I sometimes over-react I know this,  but it is a real heart jerking situation when i get really confused , heaven knows what other people think, people who don't know me or my situation.

My speech can become slurred too giving others the impression that I'm drunk - oh what a life.

I know that the lighter side of this is the only way to think but underneath it all i worry. I worry that I'm losing the plot, I worry that I'm getting dementia, I've even spoken to the doctor about my concerns only to be told that she doesn't think i have dementia, nothing about well to put your mind at ease lets take some bloods, heavens they have taken so much blood in the past that I'm sure a little more won't do me any damage. What is happening tho is that I'm being sent to the memory clinic- but I've been waiting a month or so to get word that I think they have forgotten lolgiggle


If anyone out there is suffering symptoms like mine then rest assured its only 'Brain-Fog' brought on thro medication and the affects of this illness. However if you are really worried talk to your doctor


hugs Kira x

 

This body of mine

I'm glad to say that my arms are not so intensely painful this morning so i'm hoping it stays this way , at a level i can tolerate is just fine for me .

I didn't lose any weight this week, i'm so disappointed but even more determined to lose this week .\...


My focus this week is to try and do some armchair exercises, and lose some weight if i can ..

Watch this space !!!!!

hugz Kira x

Life as it is for me

I feel like my symptoms are getting worse and this scares me . Such pain in my shoulders; elbows; wrists and a few fingers on my left hand . Also weakness .

I'm trying hard to keep to my weight watchers plan , tomorrow is my weigh in day , I'm finding it quite easy to follow , and it tests my inner strength esp when it comes down to chocolate .  I'm saving up my points so i can have a treat , guess what ... yip ... choccie :-)

I've put so much weight since i got ill and i so desperately want to be a size 14 at least ( i used to be a 12 ) but I'm trying to be realistic and to be honest curves are nice so a 14/16 would do :-)

Not much news today , just that i wish all of you out there in cyber land a very good day , and to my fellow sufferers ' stay strong

hugs Kira x