Viruses and all things blue

Well here i am again having to endure another virus, I've been feeling so bad that the last 3 days have been spent in bed, today i feel a little better with only a slight fluish feeling , this is almost always with me anyway as it is part and parcel of having cfs/me & Fibro 

I've joined an open ME group through FB its nice to be able to have online support and feel 'not so alone' but it does drain me being online writing and answering questions by other members.

I've decided to take up Jewellery Making as a hobby, i need something to do and it will hopefully help my coordination skills as well as my concentration. Also i'm looking forward to designing my own earrings etc.. There is a bead shop in town so i'm excited about going there and looking at all they have , i feel a spending spree coming on.

Colin applied for a carers grant from the carers trust,  to take me on a holiday or short breaks , glad to say we got it and we are planning meals out and theatre shows i particularly would like to see :) our first is Dancing on ice ( the last show) and a meal out :) Its been so long since we have been out as a couple because of my health and the fact i take panic attacks when out, but i'm really looking forward to our date and i am hoping upon hope that my health will be fine and i will manage to get out and enjoy the show .

I think i would rather spread the grant throughout the year going to see shows rather than on one payment towards a holiday , I've always worried that we booked a holiday then i would get a flare up and have to spend the full holiday in bed.

I do miss having a lovely hot bubble bath tho and this is something guaranteed when going on holiday ( as long as Colin can lift me in and out of the bath)

Its great to see the sunshine even although i've been told that its cold outside , and i'm looking forward to going out once the weather heats up a bit :) 

Enjoy your day and smile :) 
hugs Kiara x    

Moving on from last blog ...

Well .......

I'm much better pain wise, my meds have kicked in and they are helping a lot :) I was seen at the hospital for a lump i had on my mouth so they took it out and now i have 3 stitches and a very sore mouth , I get my stitches out this Thurs 7th March . I'm dreading it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I joined YouTube again to help me find something to do during the day other than just watching TV or sleeping. I was a member way back in 2012 and it good to go back . I've not contacted any of my old friends but i'm sure that in time our paths will cross. My channel is dedicated to the romantic in me . Maybe i will post some of my poetry i don't know. I used to make music videos and add my poetry so maybe I'll do that again.... maybe ...

I've joined an online Fibromyalgia support site i've also joined an cfs/me chat room connected to fb , i've made a few online friends there whom i chat to , but all in all i find it very tiring , but good to be able to socialise this way. I would recommend.

We lost little Alfie about a month ago , he had a blood clot in his heart. So unusual for a young cat for he had just turned 2 years old . Miss him so much . We are now in the process of buying a Maine Coon kitten , we get her in April and i can't wait. We've named her Kiesha . Poor Kismet is so lost without Alfie so she needs a cat friend .

meet Kiesha 

Sounds like i've done quite a lot, but i've not really . Haven't been out except for hospital appointments . I'm looking forward for better weather, saw the first crocus of springtime last week :)

Need to nap now so will finish my blog.


 Feeling tired .......

Intense Itchiness

Does anyone suffer extreme intense itchiness ???



I am being driven crazy with sudden intense itchines all over my body. I don't know what i would do if it wasn't for Colin, because I can't reach to scratch because of my poor mobility :-(



Its the normal things that we take for granted that others really don't think about. I also read an article about a fellow Fibromyalgia sufferer having problems with swallowing and food being stuck. I too get the feeling of stuck food,  quite alot, its so painful until it goes down.  This also happens with my meds. I hadn't related this to Fibromyalgia until i read the article



Back to itchiness, What i suffer is so intense that it could make me cry , I wonder if its medication related or Fibro related .

Weight Loss & Healthy Eating

Today i joined Tesco Healthy Eating site , its full of ideas for recipes and advice on excersize. I am following the GI Diet plan and my aim is to lose 2 stone by the end of May. This plan is so easy to follow and i would definitely recommend it to others .



Watch this space for i feel very positive regarding motivation and inspiration offered with this site . Go On DO IT YOU WILL SURPRISE YOURSELF I'M SURE :-) xx

Oh and did i tell you that its FREE !!!!

NB. I used to enjoy doing armchair excersizes with the residents where i used to work , I'm thinking now i should try to apply some of this to myself and my care plan. Colin does gentle yoga with me , so its good to learn breathing skills and gentle excersize but being disabled is no excuse to being overweight . Wish me luck :-) x



Hugs Kiara xx

fitness awareness

Is there life after pain, well i definitely think so and i aim to find that place for me. My meds are working really well and i find that each new day i have something to look forward to.

 I'm NOT pain free but i DO find that i can cope so much better now and that although i have time when i feel really tired , this is also not as bad and i am not needing to sleep so much.

Today i thought about asking my doctor to refer me to a gym so that i can start to focus on getting stronger, a battle in its own. I've decided to wait until i go to the hospital next as  my consultant may have this in my care plan, but if not... this is going to be my aim so that i don't need my wheelchair just as much and i can actually walk more .

 I'd be happy to use my walker outside if if meant one step closer to normality for me. I know this will be a long way off and a battle on its own, but i stay positive and focussed ....

Head Sweats

It seems the latest thing i must endure is terrible head sweats, its so bad that when this happens it looks and feels like i have just come out of the shower !!! I looked online just to confirm my fears, and yes ... this is another symptom of Fibromyalgia , I just wonder what next.

My doctor phoned me this afternoon to check on how i was doing since he increased my Venlafaxin, at least on a positive note i'm glad to say that i'm coping much better with my pain and the severity of it seems to be so much less at the moment.

If only life in general was so easy and we could just take a pill to make it disappear, and let us walk away from our past and leave it there , it seems for me at least this is an impossible task and i'm so sad that some aspects of my life won't let me rest. We all do things we have regretted haven't we ??????


hugs Kiara xx

PS.
Valentines Day will soon be upon us , to all you lovers out there have a wonderful day and a romantic evening :-)

The pain of loss

I didn't know it could hurt so much

We lost our little cat yesterday, His name was Alfie and he was two on the 1st January . He gave so much joy to us , this little cat who thought that he was a dog. He would fetch foam balls and kick them back to us or bring them over in his mouth. He was vocal and talked to us in ways that we just knew what he wanted. He loved Colin, infact he idolised him. Always wanting to cuddle in like a baby he would stretch out in Colins arms and look up to him with so much love, he would stretch his arm up as if to cuddle him. Colin is tall with those long legs that Alfie just loved, his favourite position to stretch along Colins legs and hang dog  :-)

When we'd been out he would greet us or Colin by tromping up the hall like some little wind up toy. Kismet loved him but would never let him know, he often bullied her but i'm sure she liked it :-)  She hasn't ate since yesterday and just lies around looking so sad. We don't know what to do to help her, she isn't a cuddly cat like Alfie was. She used to get him into so much trouble and lead him astray , i can just see him now sitting under the side table that was his gang hut, his safe place , he thought no-one could reach him from there. He had this way of facing up to things he was frightened of, in a way that said i'm wary but i'm also inquisitive to know what you are . He was our funny little boy.

The vet said he got a blood clot that went to his heart, this is often seen in older cats and is quite unusual for young ones. I can't quite take it in, he was our baby and the flat seems so empty without him, yet i can still feel his spirit, such a beautiful spirit.

Colin is heartbroken and i have no words , we can only hold each other and be each others handky.

Anyone who has lost a pet will understand how we feel i'm sure .

Alfie we miss you , we love you and you will forever be in our hearts . RIP xxx